Celebrate your Life

Have you celebrated your life lately? Oh, I don’t mean strutting around saying how good you are. I mean, truly celebrating all your little successes, celebrating a God who loves you and wants you to be happy and who has been there with you from the very beginning of time.

We are designed to survive. So when things go wrong, our mind quickly focuses on all the things that created the problem so we can make the changes necessary to be safe. However, a lot of time we continue to stay focused on all the things that are going wrong and we don’t shift gears to what is going well.

At a recent retreat, I worked with women who had suffered losses. Many times, it wasn’t just one major loss but a whole string of losses that kept them reeling, making it difficult to recover. At such times in our lives, we don’t see anything good or positive – everything is colored gray and threatening. Yet, it is precisely at such times, in the midst of our grieving and our struggles, when we need to stop and celebrate our lives as we celebrate the lives of those we mourn.

I have just completed a series on Turning your Stress into Positive Action, that will soon be available on this site and my website. One of the key components to dis-stress is how we respond to life. When problems accumulate, we find ourselves buried in potential losses: our home, family, marriage, jobs, finances, etc. We not only don’t see anything positive, we can’t even remember the times when things went well. It is at such times, when we need to stop and celebrate our lives.

Celebrating your life does not mean
· You exclude God
· You take credit where credit is not due
· You raise yourself above others

Celebrating your life means
· You celebrate the wonderful life God gave you – strengths and weaknesses
· You celebrate all the times He was guiding and leading you
· You celebrate all the good choices you have made
· You celebrate your struggles and what you have learned in the process
· You celebrate your ability to survive
· You celebrate each and every little step you have taken to move forward and overcome the odds

Sometimes our fear of pride keeps us from the simple celebration of the life that God gives each of us. Yet, we can become just as prideful of our humility. When that happens, we are no longer real or genuine and live in the subtle fear of doing something wrong. We are creating a false reality. So take your Father’s hand and celebrate the great life He gave you. Then take the hand of a friend and help them celebrate their life as well.

©2011 Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Psalms of tears and joy

“I cry out in the night before thee. Let my prayer come before thee; incline thy ear to my ear. . .” Psalm 88 (New Oxford Bible)

“It is a psalm of tears - crying out for God’s help - a psalm I marked in my Bible when the one I loved was dying. I wrote beside it my own pleas to God. It was Holy week and I felt as though I was falling into the dark abyss – that bottomless pit where there is no hope - only continual sorrow. There were no promises of a tomorrow. My world was disintegrating and I felt as though there was no God either.”

This edited version of a journal entry after the death of my husband reflects the struggle to survive those early months of grief and loss.

It is holy week again. I reflect on that last Maundy Thursday before Jesus died, when Jesus dined with his disciples and washed their feet. He was teaching them to become servants to each other. But the evening didn’t end in that upper room around a dinner table, but continued out into a beautiful garden bathed in moonlight where Jesus, overcome by the full impact of what was coming “fell on his face and prayed, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.'” (Matthew 26:39)

When we are going through our life shattering and life altering tragedies, we cry out to God, “Where are you God? When will the pain of my loss subside? When will I wake up from this nightmare?” As we struggle with the enormity of our losses, we feel we are slowly dying too and struggle with the “thy will be done.”

I believe Jesus was teaching us how to die as well as how to live. For we are required to die in so many ways, not just physically at the end of our lives, but dying every day to destructive behaviors, thoughts, and attitudes that will eventually destroy us if we hang on to them. We die emotionally and at times spiritually. And in the process we look to Jesus as our model for life as well as resurrection - a resurrection of our lives here below as well as after death. His death enables us to receive His spirit and strength to go through all our “little” deaths.

When I am in the throes of pain, I don’t want to think of the grand scheme of things - I only want to be free of pain. Yet, it is exactly at those moments when I turn the page in my Bible and read Psalm 89, “Your love, God, is my song and I’ll sing it! I’m forever telling everyone how faithful you are. I’ll never quit telling the story of your love...” (The Message). God answers our cry with His tenderness as the Psalmist declares how much God loves us and my heart responds to that love and tenderness.

May each of you experience the wonderful resurrection of Jesus Christ this Easter and experience His joy in the midst of pain.

©2011 Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Tsunamis of Life

I have reached an age when more of my friends and loved ones are experiencing sorrow, life-threatening news and losses. For some, it seems as though the heavens have opened up and dumped a truck load of problems and tragedies upon them – much like the tsunami that tore through the coastal town of Japan - and in a blink of an eye their world has changed forever. When your world has been washed out to sea, or your house has an ocean liner balancing precariously on top of it, your brain struggles to comprehend what it sees.

As traumatic and surreal as the pictures of Japan’s “holocaust” were, the news we receive at times can seem just as life-smashing. And even when we have a faith in God, our brain struggles to process the information and the magnitude of what has happened as we somehow try to pick up the pieces of our life and carry on. At such times we realize how fragile life is and how much of it we take for granted.

But even in the whirlwinds and tidal waves of life, we find God there to help us. In a series that I am completing for my website, http://www.focuswithmarlene.com/ on “Making Stress Work for You”, I remembered while writing all the times when the whirlwinds of life left me in a state of shock or panic: children who needed surgeries, diagnosis of severe disability, home intruder and attack, etc. We not only struggle to process the news, but try to figure out how we will survive or meet the challenge. At such times, God was always there to offer hope, strength and assurance. And medicine and psychology gave me the tools to apply to His principles.

Perhaps you are experiencing some of the tsunamis my friends are experiencing; potential loss of a lifetime business due to fraudulent employees along with a diagnosis of cancer; potential loss of job with a ripple effect of loss of home; several job losses over a two year period and out of work again; debilitating, chronic health diagnosis with gradual deterioration over extended period of time. At a Starbucks several weeks ago, while waiting to go pick up a friend from a medical appointment, I met a lady who was knitting comfort shawls for Hospice. What was so amazing was that she had Parkinson’s, could not hold a job, and was supporting an elderly mother who lived with her who also had Parkinson’s. I marveled at her tenacity and acceptance of her life’s “tsunamis” that she used to reach out and help others. I am continually awed and humbled by some of the tragedies that people not only endure, but use to become better and stronger individuals.

Our tsunamis and whirlwinds will forever change our lives. We have a choice, however, in how that change will affect it. We can take those deep breaths, reach out and take God’s calming Hand, and march forward with a strength that He provides or we can remain frozen in our panic. We can challenge negative thinking, develop can-do attitudes, put a smile on our face and roll up our sleeves and go to work.

©2011 Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

World's First Heads-Up Display E-Reader

Here's a bit of fun, just 'cause.

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Finding Solutions

We can’t escape problems and finding solutions is an ongoing lifetime process. However, sometimes the solutions we come up with don’t resolve the problem. Maybe it’s because we have misdiagnosed the problem. We may be too close to the problem – like standing with our face pressed against the tree trunk. We see the bark, but the rest of the forest is out of view. Stepping away from that tree trunk may be scary. What if the problem is bigger than I had anticipated? What would I do? What if the problem is me? Where would I begin? Solutions can only be found after we accurately identify the problem.

1. Is there a problem? There will be days when everything you do turns out wrong. It’s though all the problems in the world have dumped on you. We all have those days. Do the best you can and move on. It’s when the problem persists beyond the normal ups and downs that we need to take a second look.

2. What is working? Sometimes we become so focused on what is not working that we don’t take the time to acknowledge and strengthen what is working.

3. Imagine you are a reporter and have been given an assignment to check out what is happening in your life. What would he see? What would he hear? What conclusions would he make? If our focus is too narrow or too personal, we won’t see the real problem. Be honest.

4. Get additional information. Go see a reliable counselor. Ask for a consultation session to help you problem solve. Sometimes, a trusted friend who will give you honest feedback can reveal new information.

5. Is this your problem or does it belong to somebody else? We can only be responsible for what is under our control, but we can be responsible for our responses to what is happening. Are your responses making the problem worse? What part of the problem do you own? What options do you have?

6. Many relationship problems revolve around the belief that the problem resides with the other person. Yet relationships involve two people. Take ownership of your part of the problem. Listen. Step into the other’s shoes and see it from their perspective. Even if you disagree, you can respect their point of view.

7. Be honest. If we have a fragile self worth, we will either take too much responsibility or place the blame on others. Do some “self” work or see a good counselor who can help identify strengths and accept your weaknesses. Sometimes we are trying to measure up to an unrealistic standard.

8. Include God in this process. Ask for help in clarifying the problem, areas where you need to grow and for the strength to meet whatever challenges you are facing.

©2011 Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Novel Craft Writing Workshop: Ending Well

Let’s say you’ve written a compelling black moment that leads to an epiphany. With a new mindset, your main character makes a big decision that sooner or later will bring victory against a problem or antagonist which previously seemed insurmountable.

Okay, now what?

The resolution of a plot isn’t the place for the writer to relax. Here’s how to end well:

Tie up loose ends. When you put on a pair of sneakers you wouldn’t think of leaving the laces untied, or at least most of us wouldn’t. You tie them because you don’t want to trip or for your shoes to come off. Shoes just feel more comfortable with the laces tied. It’s the same way with plots. To bring the reader to a satisfying catharsis, tie up every loose thread. As the writer, you are so close to the story you could overlook some of these. It’s a good idea to write down plot threads as you introduce them so you can make sure you resolve them all. If you employ beta readers, ask them to point out any loose ends they see.

Let the right person win. When resolving plot threads, let the character who struggled most with a particular peril be the one who wins. In resolving the main conflict, don’t cheat the reader by having someone else swoop in and rescue your main character. At the minimum, your main character should take direct action that leads to rescue. But it’s better to let your main character do the fighting. The same is true for resolving other conflicts. If a secondary character is the one who struggles most against a secondary conflict, give that character his or her own black moment, epiphany and moment of glory in which he or she overcomes. This will provide a multi-layered story.

Let your dragons breathe real fire. If you resolve your story’s conflict by introducing information which turns what seemed a real dragon into a paper one, you’ll most likely disappoint your reader. This is also known as “the come-to-realize resolution.” In film-making, this is a technique employed for short scripts known as “the idiot script.” It would be hard for a novel to sustain such a resolution.

Don’t drag the ending out. If you’ve ever sat through a speech or sermon that seemed to go on forever, you understand why the ending shouldn’t wax long. Keep it short and sweet.

Don’t end abruptly. Conversely, your reader does want to take a moment to savor the resolution, to find out what might be in store for your characters, to say goodbye to friends. The resolution of a story is the pay off for the reader’s emotional investment. Bear that in mind as you write your resolution and you’ll sell your next novel in advance.

Action Step 

Write the resolution of your novel with these points in mind.

This post marks the end of the writing portion of the Novel Craft Workshop. Stop by next week for a reward post.
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*Janalyn Voigt is an Amazon Associate and benefits when products are purchased on Amazon through links from Author Haven.

Journey to a Dream

“How did you get started writing?”

I know what they are asking. People want to find a way to pursue their own passions and dreams and they are wondering how I got started on my own journey. Most of us want to believe that there has to be more, but it often feels like we are closed up in a brick box with no way to break through to that path of unique direction and purpose.

Pursuing passion and dreams may seem like the ideal road, but that the path less taken takes more energy and determination. You have to be bold enough to step out into unmarked territory. Determination must push you over the downed trees that try to block you path and around the holes that are determined to turn you around.

Motivation for Pursuing Your Writing Dreams

1. Know where you are going. I want to be a writer is too general to ever be met. Focus you goals on a particular end. I want to publish bible studies, novels, or non-fiction books are all directions the writing career may take. I am currently journeying down the road of freelance writing where I spend as much time creating words for others as I do for my own endeavors.


2. Get a cheering section. Hearing the roar of the crowd always pushed my athletic attempts. BUT hearing the roar of a coach that understood the how and the why helped me reach my maximum potential. Find people that understand writing (in the direction that you are pursuing) and let them cheer you on to greatness.


3. Start right now. The only time you have is now. Waiting until tomorrow will always be too late because tomorrow will always be a day away. Put words on paper, look for opportunities to share those words, and then repeat the process until you get to where you want to be with your writing.

No two walks will ever be the same. Different people will be distracted by different elements of the walk. You will even notice new and exciting things on walks that you have taken before when you are on the lookout. It may just be that the things in your mind keep your focus and you miss the walk at that moment.

Your journey will be unique. But the only way you will ever begin to live your dream is when you push through the overgrown shrubs and step on to that path that is rarely visited.

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*Janalyn Voigt is an Amazon Associate and benefits when products are purchased on Amazon through links from Author Haven.