CD #6 - Heroes and Heroines

"Well, it's about time you got here. I've been waiting for over 30 minutes. You're always late. Why can't you ever be on time? Why can't you think of other people instead of just yourself?" His jaw was set and the words rang with acidity and anger. Same old pattern - same old reactions. In less than a second, a retaliating anger flashed to the surface along with all the words of defense and accusations of his failures. She had a long list of his faults and shortcomings and was very adept at hurling them back at him.

But this time was different. She swallowed the words and counted to ten instead of defending herself or seeking retribution. Her internal voice screamed, "Tell him what a jerk he is!" but instead she closed her eyes, breathed deeply and as she exhaled slowly, slid the control button on her imaginary remote down, reducing the emotional response as she focused on her new decision. The anger began to subside. The intense struggle that had assaulted her along with his words was now replaced with a calm resolve and sense of purpose.

She was surprised at how quickly her emotions began to change when she changed her thoughts. She no longer felt combative, but hopeful and encouraged. She no longer cared about who was right or who was wrong. It no longer was important to "fix" her husband. She just wanted to regain the love they had so long ago and was willing to sacrifice to make that happen.

Their counselor had been teaching them how to communicate, negotiate and let go. But when the old patterns erupted, she knew someone had to step up to the plate and make that first move. As she "let go" of the string of bitter reprisals and accusations that were making them both resentful, she calmly said, "I am late and I can understand why you would be upset."

She didn't know it but she had chosen to become a hero."

Women have long been held hostage to outdated and dysfunctional rules of expectation restricting their voice and identity. It may seem as though she was reverting to old ways of thinking that took away her rights as an individual. However, the heroine of this story had reached a new level of personal development where "being right" and proving her point was no longer as important as her marriage. She had learned to accept herself and her worth as an individual and in the process could extend acceptance to others as well. She now asked for what she needed and wanted and was learning how to listen to the needs of her husband. It no longer was necessary to be the winner, to be first, or even compete in all areas of her life. Sometimes, letting go and stepping back was winning.

As we celebrate the 4th of July and the founding of our great nation, I would like to not only salute the heroes of war who sacrificed their lives for our freedom, but to salute and celebrate those silent everyday heroes who make personal sacrifices and choices for the greater good.

Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

copyright 2010

Platform Building 305: Gain Instant Credentials

No question about it, credentials open doors. Besides instant credentials to cite in query letters, one sheets and book proposals, membership in a group for writers provides numerous benefits.

Writers work in relative isolation. It's good to find actual living, breathing persons with many of the same hopes, fears and challenges as you. Other benefits include critique groups, workshops, speakers, speakers bureaus, newsletters, forums, networking, writing opportunities, book tables, retreats, group discounts on market guides, email loops, book clubs and resource links on websites. I recommend joining at least one local and one national writing group compatible with your area of writing. For me, that means I belong to Northwest Christian Writers Association and American Christian Fiction Writers.

Homework

Either join a group for writers or look into the benefits of the one(s) you've already joined. To find groups for writers, search the Internet or consult guides like Writer's Market or Sally Stewart's Christian Market Guide. Preditors and Editors also lists organizations. Click here.

Any words of wisdom on how to get the most out of your memberships?

Miss the Flowers for the Weeds

Pests make my life miserable when I let them run my life. The big troubles do little to phase my walk – but the little guys can make me freeze in terror! Two years ago, I had some unforgettable (believe me, I have tried) run-ins with yellow jackets. I am only just beginning to wrangle my garden back into a manageable state because last year I refused to touch the battle zone!

This morning I took a walk around the garden to see how my expedition with the poison was coming along. I braved the heat the other afternoon to spray some of the weeds crowding my flowers. The beauty of the blooms took my breath away as the morning began to break through the trees. Despite the weeds, I could enjoy the flowers with the knowledge that the actions I had been taking would make enjoying the flowers even better in days and years to come.

My walk reminded me that letting pests dictate my actions will not get me to where I want to be. The distractions of the pests allow weeds to crawl into my garden and crowd out the beauty. Left completely unattended, the weeds will eventually choke the beauty altogether.

I also realized that my husband has trouble seeing the flowers because of the weeds. He hones right in on the negative. His focus leaves him blinded to any beauty that blooms despite the negatives.

Two lessons from one short walk.

First – There will always be distractions that try to get me off my path. Trouble with a computer, with an internet connection or with a writing job can all serve as potential pests whose stings suck the desire out of me. My focus has to be on the end product. I have to see beyond the troubles and the issues and allow the beauty of the blooms be my guide.

Second – There will always be negatives that want to suck my joy away. Last week my neighbor called to berate me for writing about my husband. I should just be thrilled that my neighbor (an avid hunter, fisherman and basic “man’s man”) even took the time to READ my articles even if he did miss the main points behind the words. My focus has to be on the flowers coming up amid the weeds and then I will be able to make a plan and take the actions that will let those flowers be revealed to everyone.

Do you see weeds? Or can you look beyond the weeds and see the beauty that pushes through them?

CD#5 - From Grievance to Forgiveness

The lady arriving at my office had a pinched, hard face even when she smiled. Her eyes were combative and her demeanor and stance defensive. Her vitriolic words were indicative of a long held bitterness. The toxicity of her resentment could no longer be covered up with expensive suits and immaculate dressing - her very physical being had been changed. She had been referred to therapy because she was experiencing more and more physical problems that her doctors could find no organic cause. "I don't know why I am here," she said, "I live a good life, do what I am supposed to do, which is more than I can say for those doctors I go to."

As I listened and gently probed her background, it soon became apparent that a lifetime of resentment held against an older sister who hated her, stole her rightful inheritance, and tried to destroy her name and reputation played a major role in her health problems. The resentment was legitimate. The grievance was deserved. Yet a lifetime spent as a self-righteous victim rehearsing over and over again how she had been wronged was gradually destroying her - bit by bit.

Righteous indication and bitter resentments become grievance stories when we have been wronged, take that wrong too personaly and continue to feel angry and self-righteous. We select the memories that make our story grow, telling it over and over again and each time keeping the hurt and injustice alive and well. We hold others to a standard we cannot enforce and we blame others for how we feel when things don't go right. Yet, most offences are committed without the intention of hurting someone personally. We choose to make them personal and hang onto them. We often feel powerless over our emotional responses, yet blaming gives away our personal power. It also keeps us from having to be responsible for our responses.

The story of Joseph and his brothers in the book of Genesis gives us a classic example of being wronged and the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness opens the door for reconciliation. The act of forgiveness is not condoning inappropriate or hurtful behavior or even forgetting a painful past. It does not change the past, but it changes the present. It is a choice. You are choosing to let go of the hurt and pain. You are choosing to no longer allow the past to continue to hurt you.

Jesus said to forgive seventy times seven. How often do we take this as a harsh command or duty impossible to do? Yet if we flipped forgiveness on its head, maybe we would see it as the powerful and wonderful gift it is!

Frederick Buechner wrote: "Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back - in more ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you."

For additional information on forgiveness, I highly recommend reading, "Forgive for Good", by Dr. Fred Luskin from which much of this information has been drawn.

Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Platform Building 304: Brand with Your Profile Picture

I have a confession to make. No, I haven’t shaved my head, run off with the circus or sold my first born child into slavery. It’s worse than that. You see, I’m camera shy.

Oh, I know I shouldn’t let it get to me whenever a camera’s eye is trained on me, but I can’t seem to help myself. I have to believe there are others out there who suffer as I do. Thus, this post. You see, I’ve discovered a solution that may help you, too. Let me explain.

At a writers’ conference, two friends advised me that I needed a new profile picture. I recognized the truth of their words, but I still lagged behind in acting on them. And then I was invited to appear in an interview in an upcoming anthology. Oh, and yes, I needed to provide a decent picture of myself.

I usually freeze up and take horrible pictures at a shooting by a professional photographer, so that wasn’t a real option. I decided to ask friends and family to take my picture. And so followed two failed attempts (a rained-out cedar tree-hugging session and one where I look like a frumpy housewife). With a deadline ticking, I decided desperate times called for desperate measures and took matters, digitally speaking, into my own hands. That’s right. I shot my own picture time and again. I told myself that I was only getting in a practice session. I actually took a few decent pictures while some will never see the light of day. I was nervous at first, but then I started having fun. I learned something. The fact that I came across with a goony smile each time a camera pointed my direction had everything to do with my nervousness and nothing to do with my worth as a model. I just needed to let myself relax.

My practice sessions with the camera let me relax enough to pose afterwards for a casual picture that will appear in the book.

Here are some tips for taking good low-cost profile pictures.

• The VGA setting of a digital camera will take images that qualify as high-resolution photos if the camera is newer. Older VGA settings might not do this, so test your camera.

• Schedule enough time for the photo shoot so you won’t stress about what you’re not getting done. Give yourself an entire afternoon. If you get done early, all the better.

• Pay attention to grooming. You probably don’t want a glamour shot unless that suits your brand. But you do want to present yourself in the best light.

• Pose to fit your brand. Do you write romances? You might want to pose in front of a spray of cabbage roses. If you write thrillers, this might not suit you at all. Think through what you want your picture to convey to the reader.

• Natural light is always best. I found a striking difference between the pictures I took indoors and those taken out of doors. Natural light enhanced my features. Take advantage of soft morning light, if possible.

• Don’t squint into the sun.

• Don’t face squarely into the camera. You don’t want a “mug shot.”

• Not everyone can carry off an ear-to-ear grin in a picture. It’s not really necessary anyway, depending on the other elements in your picture, and your brand.

• Have someone you love take your picture. Your face will settle into gentle lines, and that’s always attractive.

Homework

If you know you need a new profile picture, do what it takes to make it happen. And then tag me on Facebook.

You're Not Alone

The incomparable C. S. Lewis once said, “We read to know we’re not alone.” There is something special about picking up a book and finding the author echoing sentiments that are familiar. I love to read those writers who view the world as a magical place, a place of mystery and wonder. I look at the mountains that surround my home and know instinctively that dwarves and dragons must have lived there. I stroll through a sylvan glade and wonder if I might find ancient footprints of mystifying creatures. My imagination is vividly awake and I love to read those who are of like mind.

But I’m also a writer. I sit before a sterile screen as black letters fill a rectangular white space. And often I sit alone. My mind is filled with images and stories that must be shared but I’m often in an environment that is solitary. There are times when, like the prophets who’ve gone before, I struggle with the notion that I’m just wasting time, that no one will understand, that no one will receive the message. Many in my church don’t understand it. Many of my fellow pastors don’t see the reason behind the writing. I feel alone.

That is why I value a writer’s group. As I attend meetings and hear the hearts and thoughts of those who fill their white spaces with words, I find a camaraderie that is not available in other venues. When I need the gentle tug of encouragement or the occasional tap of correction I know I will find it in the hearts of those who are on a similar path as mine. They understand, and it’s that understanding that I find indispensable. The list of companions in the Word of God is extensive: Joshua had Caleb, Elisha had Elijah, David had Jonathan, Peter had John, and Paul had Timothy. And I, I have my writer’s group.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Let me encourage you, if you don’t attend a writer’s group, find one. It’s hard enough trying to walk the path of a writer, there is no reason to try and walk it alone. “We read to know we’re not alone.” Get involved in a writer’s group so that you know you’re not alone.

©2010
Rev. Michael Duncan

Limits for the Exposed Writer

My neighbor called me to berate me for the work that he had just read. He felt that I offended my husband with the words. I pulled up the articles in question and went over his points of contention with him. Through our conversation I realized that the things that I had been revealing in my stories – although meant to be good, positive and uplifting – were having much farther reaching consequences.

Several weeks ago I wrote an article on my website, Successfulfreelancewriter.com, about exposed writing. I talked about writing naked or creating words that reveal the heart. Readers want to connect to the writing. It needs to be more than words. There needs to be a level of revelation that connects reader and writer.

I still believe that, but I also understand that overexposure can cause serious repercussions.

How much exposure works for your writing?

1. Why are your writing the words? Motive goes a long way towards determining an exposure rate. Venting relieves pressure in our lives, but venting in our writing can lead to words that hurt others or drag those exposed to the words down with the negativity.


2. Are you naming names? On my websites and books, I do talk about my husband by name. I have kept others out of my writings for the most part. That has not stopped people from putting names to situations in my writings. Sometimes just the telling of the story is all of the "name" you need to give.


3. Would you tell the story in person? Writing gives so much anonymity. It allows a more free expression, but that same freedom can lead the writer to put down words that are better left tucked away. Tame that freedom by thinking about who you would let hear you speak the same words.

Writers need to create words that come from the heart, and writing at that level requires a certain amount of exposure. Temper that exposure with careful thought and prayer so that you do not end up running around town naked.

Are there limits to what you think should be revealed in what you write? What was the most exposed you have ever been with your writing? How do you deal with those readers that “fill in the blanks” of your stories?

Character Development #4 - Anger-rage-aggression

"She was pretty - her dark hair cascading around her shoulders - yet there was a sense of foreboding obscuring her natural beauty. The vague shadows around her eyes along with a haggard appearance suggested long sleepless nights; but at closer scrutiny revealed what had been hastily covered up with heavy makeup - dark bruising of the skin. The clerk looked twice at her but quickly turned away as though not to intrude.

She grabbed her purchases and quickly fled to her car. What was she to do? He had been so sorry afterwards and promised it would never happen again. But it had - time and time again. There was no way to predict when his anger and rage would erupt. But each time he begged forgiveness and told her how much he loved her; if she would just give him another chance. And she had promised she would - again. Was it her fault? Maybe if she worked harder at making life easier for him. Resolve settled over her shoulders and she turned towards home. She would fix him his favorite dinner. Maybe this time it would be different...."

Evidence of abuse is not always apparent, yet it is there all around us: the beaten spirit; the heightened alert for danger, downcast eyes, or protective stance waiting for the next blow. A bullying attitude of a spouse, the chilling words of a harried parent and the sullen look of a powerless child are reminders of the sins of the fathers visited upon their children from generation to generation. Children who witness violence between their parents are at high risk of becoming violent when they grow up and boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their spouses or children as adults.

As an author, DO NOT minimize the potential danger domestic violence poses or that somehow it will go away if there is enough love, prayers, understanding and time. People with an anger/rage problem can be successfully treated. But, abused spouses and children who remain in volatile and potentially dangerous situations only continue to enable the offender. Consider the following:

• The National Coalition against Domestic Violence reports that 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime


• An estimated 1.3 million women will become victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year


• 30 to 60% of individuals who abuse their spouses will also abuse the children


• Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to police.

Aggression is a learned response and is not necessarily connected to anger. It is a learned perception of what has happened in the past and is based on thought patterns (rethinking old hurts, etc.) which can escalate anger into rage that is provoked without any apparent reason. This is not anger that is a normal adaptive and corrective response.

WARNING: If you are being abused, LEAVE NOW and Get Help. Go to a shelter, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Fifty percent of offenders in state prisons for spousal abuse have killed their victims. If you see children being abused, you have a duty to call protective services. Staying with your abuser is NEVER an option. It will NEVER get better if you stay - the abuse will escalate. You are not the reason for the anger and there is nothing you can or cannot do to alter the abuse.

If you have an anger problem, get help immediately before you or someone else is injured or killed. Venting your anger WILL NOT alleviate the problem. You have both the ability and responsibility to constructively choose appropriate responses for how you feel.

Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

copyright 2010

From Behind the Publisher's Desk: What a Publisher Probably Wants From You

Much of what I write or read about, I do so because I want to, I like the subject, and it’s what I feel I need to do at the time. My topics of choice are a purely subjective matter.


But what does that really mean? I make subjective choices based on individual personal impressions, feelings, and opinions rather than external facts. Every single publisher (and possibly editor) makes subjective choices with every single manuscript that crosses their desk.

What this means for authors is that the very slim chance you have of getting published by a traditional publisher is made even slimmer by a publisher’s or editor’s whims.

Okay, so how can we give ourselves the very best chance for publication within that very narrow slice of possibility? I can think of all the usual ways, ways which you’ve probably heard ad nauseum but bear repeating: write well, have a great proposal and opening chapters, have a spectacular marketing plan, platform, and social networking presence.

Well, is that it? Yes and no. You also want to know the specific genres a given publisher deals with, any nuances they may favor (such as our love of the sea at Port Yonder Press, our love of the unique or literary, our love of the bold and brazen without wallowing in the grimy smut of reality’s seamy side), and it certainly doesn’t hurt to know the editor / publisher on a somewhat personal basis (writing conferences are good for that).

Those are the basics. Now for the specifics of one publishing company, the only one I can address with any authority: mine. And these aren’t “how-to’s” as much as some of this publisher’s whims mentioned above.

1) "Write quickly and you will never write well. Write well, and you will soon write quickly." -Marcus Fabius Quintilianus (i.e., take your time and sculpt that manuscript until it’s worthy of our time and our readers’ time)

2) "I have made this letter longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter." -Blaise Pascal (i.e., a repeat of point #1)

3) "The ill and unfit choice of words wonderfully obstructs the understanding." -Francis Bacon (i.e., a repeat of points #1 & 2)

4) "There is no great writing, only great rewriting." -Justice Brandeis (i.e., a variation of points #1-3)

5) "There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are." -W. Somerset Maugham (i.e., a separate but similar point to those above: format/method is one thing; good writing is another)

6) “To any aspiring writers out there — write for love, not money. Only a small percentage of writers will ever be published but that should not deter people from pursuing their dream of writing a book. There is a great sense of achievement to be had from writing one's own book regardless of whether it becomes a commercial success [or not].” –Philip Tatham (i.e., write from your heart; write when you feel no one will read it; write not to impress but to do what you must)

We are looking for the best books we can find. Period. If you write a good story but won’t take the time to make it better than just good, don’t submit to us.

If you’re finicky, hard to work with, have unresolved relationships around you (believe it or not, this *does* show up in the subtleties of a manuscript), find another publisher. We want authors we can live and work with, authors who have shown themselves disciplined and pliable.

Lasso your artistic temperament and funnel it into busting the bronco of mediocre writing: train it to produce works of lasting merit, works which will outlast all of us.

For the specifics, visit our comprehensive site at http://www.portyonderpress.com/ and contact me if you still have a lingering question rolling around in your brain.Contact@PortYonderPress.com.

Janalyn, thank you for the opportunity to visit your fine blog.

© 2010 by C. Maggie Woychik

Upcoming Post: What Does a Publisher Want?

Chila "Maggie" Woychik, Publisher and Managing Editor of Port Yonder Press, takes us behind a publisher's desk for a look at what it takes to become published. Don't miss this post! Follow this blog or sign up to receive posts by email in the sidebar.

Character Development #3 - Sibling Rivalry

"Mom!" the oldest brother yelled while fending off the blows from a retaliating younger brother. Mom, harried after finishing the dinner dishes, rushed into the room and pulled her boys apart. "Stop it - both of you!" The boys separated with daggers of anger shooting from their eyes. "He broke my plane. He's always trying to get me in trouble." But Mom was tired and turned her impatience on her oldest. "Why are you always fighting with your brother. You are older and should know better. Now tell him you're sorry - right now!" Reluctantly, he muttered under his breath, "I'm sorry", but his fists remained clenched defiantly by his side. "I think you need to get on your knees and ask God to forgive you for getting angry; now get into bed, both of you!"

In the darkness, the tears came unnoticed. "Forgive? Why should I forgive? He is always favored. They don't love me - they only love him." He remembered the attention he had received before his younger brother was born. Now all they could talk about was how cute his brother was - he could do no wrong. As sleep finally closed tear stained eyes, fists gradually uncurled, but the knot in his stomach remained. The anger settled in for the night and continued to simmer the next day. Jealousy robbed him of any peace. He felt unloved. He had done nothing to deserve this. Life was unfair. And the anger kept mounting over the years and took up permanent residence in his heart.

Sibling rivalry - an older son's position in the family is displaced by a younger one. Perhaps you have experienced it or witnessed it within your own family. Young parents expect more and demand more from their first born. As other children come along their parenting becomes more relaxed. The oldest child, who had received all his parent's attention, now suddenly finds himself displaced when the next child comes along. He not only gets less attention, but he is still expected to set an example, have a greater sense of responsibility and is held to a higher standard. It is part of the birth order situation.

Anger - jealousy. It is one of the first family stories told in the Bible as Cain, the older child becomes not only angry but jealous of his younger brother Able, an anger that ends up in murder. What do we do with that age old problem of anger and jealousy that can turn into deep resentment?

Many of us have been taught that anger is bad. Yet, anger in and of itself is a normal feeling response to situations that require survival or the need for constructive change. It is self preserving and self protecting. It is not the anger that needs to be feared, but what we do with it. When we are told not to feel anger, it goes underground along with all the meanings we attach to it, where it can grow, fester and become bigger than life. Repressed anger can lead to resentment, self-pity, anxiety, depression and even physical illness. Anger turned inward can make you feel flawed and inferior as we saw in last week's illustration, or we can lash out and turn that anger onto others.

What do you do with your anger? What physical responses do you experience when you are angry? Do you feel guilty for feeling anger compounding the situation? What do you tell yourself when you get angry? What thoughts justify your anger? Can you constructively and honestly express what you are feeling without attacking someone, their property or yourself? How do you help your children deal with their anger?

Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Copyright 2010

Platform Building 303: Brand Yourself with Your Business Card

Every business card starts out blank. What will it say? How will it look? It's all up to you. In that, there is freedom and angst. If you're having trouble figuring out what to put on your business card, perhaps the trouble lies deeper. If you don't know who you are, how can you present yourself to others? Author, know thyself.

I can't do your introspection and self-discovery but I can guide you once you know who you are as a writer and where you're going. You may find you can work backward toward self-definition. Here are my tips for making effective business cards.

General considerations

• Paper - Purchase quality card stock. This is not the place to cut corners. Remember, you may send these cards to industry professionals who know good paper. 
• Size - I suggest you obtain business cards that are full-sized (2" x 3") Some of the free business card offers available online are for cards that are slightly smaller than the norm. Such a difference registers, at least subliminally.
• Finish - A matte finish generally is your best choice.
• Color - Choose subtle colors. Yes, you want to stand out from the pack, but in a good way.
• Clean - Don't clutter your card with details. Keep it clean and neat, and group similar information together.
• Simple - Don't use more than three font styles. They should be cohesive.
• Orientation - Landscape style fits into a card file best. I've seen cards printed sideways, but I'm not so sure that's practical.

Front

• Picture - Include a great head shot of yourself to help people remember you. Sending a business card that bears an image of you with a book proposal, for example, can jog the memory of an editor you met at a conference.
• Logo - If you have a logo, you can place it on the front of your business card in lieu of a photo of you. If you do this, it's a good idea to place a picture of you on the reverse.
• Name - Set your name off by leaving a little white space around it and putting it into a larger, and possibly a different font than the rest of your card. You might want to give it a special color.
• Tag Line - Your branding statement. This is a sentence that defines everything you write. Even if you write in disparate genres, as I do, find a common thread for all your books and make your tagline from that. For example, my tagline is "Adventures Kissed by Romance" because those two elements -- adventure and romance -- exist in everything I write.
• Contact Information - This can include your phone number, mailing address and email address. If you don't have a PO Box, you might want to leave a mailing address off so you can give your card out to anyone and still safeguard your security. You will include your mailing address on your proposals and any correspondence to editors anyway. Or make two cards: one that includes your mailing address and one that doesn't. I put my phone number into a slightly larger font and a color that contrasts with my business card's background.
• Website Address - I set this off, also, by putting it in a slightly larger version of the same font and in a color that contrasts with the background color.
• Blog Address - Don't forget to provide this information on your business cards so you can use them to promote your blog.

Reverse

• Blank - It's perfectly acceptable to leave the reverse side of your card blank.
• Photo - Some authors put their pictures here when they use a logo on the front of the card.
• Book Cover - If you are published, you might want to include a picture of your latest book cover here and any relevant information (i.e.: Available, September 2011)

Homework

If you need new (or your first) author business cards, schedule to purchase them and do your research. You can purchase business cards from a local printer or buy them online. Many people have complimented me on my business cards. I purchase them inexpensively at http://overnightprints.com/, which has an online designer. If you do make your own, be careful you select appropriate font sizes and make your pictures large enough. I don't recommend ordering a huge batch of cards because, although you might not think it will, your information may change. If you design your own cards and make a mistake, you won't be out much money.

How about you? Do you like your business cards?

Words Worth Writing

The discussion on the Christian Writers Forum turned to impatience. “I have gotten several rejections from publishers and no responses from agents so should I follow up on working with a vanity press?” The question, or something similar to it, has gone through many minds of those trying to find an avenue for their words.

Many answers were tossed out – most dealing with patience being an important part of writing. One answer stood out for me because I spoke to my own self-publishing journey.

Making Each Word Count

1. The most important step for writing a book is actually finishing that book. Only a small percentage of the world population ever completes a book. After completing the book, though, the real work begins.


2. Edit what you write. Cut out words that do not add to the content. Change words to show the story instead of just telling the story. Correct all of those grammar and spelling issues that you might have missed during the writing of the book.


3. Edit the manuscript again. Hone the story lines. Bring the characters to life. Even a non-fiction book needs to live and breathe a little on its own.


4. Get a critique of your manuscript. Family and friends are fine guinea pigs as long as they have experience in the genre and industry where your book will be published. Professional critiques can reveal gaps in your content that would have otherwise gone unnoticed.


5. Edit the manuscript again using the critique as a guide.

Only after the words are mastered are they ready to share. No matter what direction your publishing journey will take, the preparation should be the same. Write words that are worth reading and then continue to clean up the manuscript until every word used makes a difference.

Character Development #2

She hesitated, and then walked around to the backyard where the family gathering was already in process. Old feelings from the past struggled to gain a foothold in the present, but she quickly swept them aside. She did not want to go there. It was too painful. Laughter and bits of conversation brought a smile to her lips. Maybe this time it would be different. She turned a corner and saw her cousin in an animated conversation with her Dad - her brilliant cousin who graduated with honors and now was a successful physician. And she experienced again the piercing pangs of self-defeat, jealousy and envy. Oh, she loved her cousin and was happy for her - yet it seemed everything she did came so effortlessly. Her cousin had worked hard - but so had she; but all she got was more bills and disappointments. Why? She struggled with the voice inside that kept repeating all the old messages from childhood: "Why are you so stupid? You don't do anything right? Will you never learn?" Tears stung her eyes. She quickly brushed them away and readjusted her self-protective smiling mask.

Jealousy - envy - we've all experienced it. It is part of growing up as we compare ourselves with those around us - comparisons which are often unfair, lopsided and untrue but have deadly and long lasting consequences. As we struggle to discover and accept who we are, many powerful emotions come into play.

Our lives are shaped and molded by our DNA, personality traits, experiences and the impact of important people in our life. We attach a meaning to what happens to us within the context of time and place. Many of our childhood experiences become imprinted within our brain as fact at a time when we are unable to discern fact and reality from fiction. This process of making sense of our world is an ongoing process as we take in and assimilate information, put it into categories for easy retrieval and reference, and add to or expand those categories to accommodate new information. Attached are all the emotions we are experiencing at the time, emotions that are constantly triggered.

The character portrayed above received little positive and nurturing input while growing up and any positive input she did receive was quickly drowned out by all the negative messages which soon became labels applied to herself: stupid, failure, fat, ugly, etc. Negative messages are powerful and resistant to change. Over time, we believe them. They erode our efforts, our self esteem and self worth and become a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Our comparisons with others become distorted as our images of self become distorted.

So why do we hang on to them? Because they produce a comfort level. Challenging them means we become vulnerable again, we would have to accept our inadequacies and come to terms with imperfection. Negative and judgmental statements indicate you are to be perfect. Coming to terms with our imperfections is the first step to growth, acceptance and responsibility. But it also allows us to uncover and celebrate the positive aspects of ourselves.

Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

copyright 2010

Who Won Author Haven's Anniversary Thank-You Drawing?

In honor of Author Haven's six-month anniversary, we decided to offer a giveaway to four readers of our blog. Winners were chosen randomly from among those who subscribe to this blog by feed, through Networked Blogs or by email. Each winner will have two weeks to respond to the winning notification. If a winner fails to respond within two weeks to the winning notification, the winners will shift upward in position and another drawing will be held to find a last-place winner. The first person who's name is drawn gets first choice of the giveaway items and must choose a prize within three days of responding to the winning notification. The second winner will then have three days to choose between the remaining items. After the second winner makes a selection, the third winner will three days to choose from the remaining prizes. And last but not least, the fourth winner will then have three days to make her selection from the remaining items.

Giveaways

1. Janalyn Voigt will give a free one-time critique of the first 10 pages of a manuscript, which can be a book of fiction or nonfiction, an article or a short story.

Janalyn, the author of "DawnSinger," book one of "Tales of Faeraven," which will release with Port Yonder Press, identified her call to write at the age of 12 and grew up teaching herself classic story structures, basic conflicts and the craft of writing long before she received formal training as an alumni of Christian Writers Guild. Janalyn’s publication credits include Brio (Focus on the Family), Powerline Papers (Scripture Press) and Pentecostal Evangel. She is affiliated with ACFW and NCWA. http://janalynvoigt.com/ 

2. Marlene Anderson will give either a free copy of her book, "A Love So Great, A Grief so Deep" or her relaxation CD.

Marlene is a licensed counselor, author, speaker, and retreat and workshop leader. She has worked in both clinical and educational settings as a college teacher, therapist and facilitator of psycho-educational classes. Visit her website, http://www.marleneanderson-focus.com/, for more about Marlene. Her blogs: http://www.focuswithmarlene.blogspot.com/ http: http://www.healingheartsandmind.blogspot.com/

3. Kathryn Lang will give away a free copy of one of her ebooks, "Problems to Proverbs: 8 Traits of the Proverbs Life and Steps to Reach Each One" or "Freelance Writing Basics: Getting Started with Your Career." 

Kathryn Lang creates original content for websites, produces articles and posts for blogs and writes a variety of other materials, including original Bible studies and programs. She is an inspirational and motivational speaker. Kathryn's passion is helping others discover their own passions. Visit her website: http://kathrynlang.com/ and blogs: http://successfulfreelancewriter.com/ and http://proverbs31life.com/.

4. Michael Duncan will give a free one-time critique of the first 10 pages of a manuscript, which can be a book of fiction or nonfiction, an article or a short story.

Pastor Michael Duncan has spent over twenty years preaching and teaching God’s word. He has spoken in churches across the U.S. and in two different countries. Rev. Duncan has served on staff in four churches and currently is the pastor of Mountain View Baptist Church in Darrington , WA . He is an alumni with the Christian Writer’s Guild, an occasional contributor to the MBBA section of the Northwest Baptist Witness and the author of the blog, From the Mountain. His first book, "Starting Out: A Study Guide for New Believers," is scheduled to release in January, 2011. Visit his blog: http://www.mountainviewministry.blogspot.com/.

And now for the Grand Announcement: 

The four winners of our Anniversary Thank-You Drawing are:

1. Carlyberd
2. Tormhake
3. Rudy
4. Lynn Mosher