New Year's Resolutions - Flawed Good Intentions

When reviewing the past, we often "resolve" to do better the next year. However, our resolutions, while important, become nothing more than flawed good intentions because they lack motivation and a plan of action.

We live by habit. Habits we want to change can't simply be stopped - they need to be replaced. And an honest assessment is required to begin the process.

Take a week and record on paper your daily habits: consistencies over time, when they occur, the pay off you receive, and your thoughts connected to them. For example, if you want to better manage your time, a review of how you currently spend your time is a critical first step. What payoff keeps your limiting habit in place?

We don't achieve our goals because we haven't specifically articulated what we really want to accomplish. As demands on our time keep increasing, we find ourselves on that proverbial treadmill accelerating to warp speed. Our "to do" list keeps growing resulting in burn out, high levels of stress and unrealistic demands placed on ourselves and our families. Any personal goals are put on the back burner or abandoned.

To set productive goals, begin by answering these questions: What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime? What will your obituary say about you? What are you passionate about? What do you want for your family? Have you talked to them about what is important to them, both as individuals and as a family? What is currently keeping you from creating a more meaningful life? These questions begin to probe all areas of your life. Left unanswered, these questions can become obstacles that keep you from achieving any of your goals.

A prerequisite, then, for productive goal setting is to get better acquainted with yourself and your current habits. Question and challenge old beliefs, patterns of behavior, thought processes and current payoffs for status quo. What messages from your past keep you locked in negative thinking? What do you say to yourself about yourself and your abilities? Are you living an outdated life script you have not chosen but simply accepted?

A New Years Challenge: During the following week, examine current lifestyle habits and what obstacles have kept you from making changes in the past. Brute honesty is required. Goals can be short term and long term and when they are synchronized they help us navigate our lives more effectively and efficiently.

Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC
www.MarleneAnderson-Focus.com
www.focuswithmarlene.blogspot.com
www.healingtheheartandmind.blogspot.com

Platform Building 110: Hold Fast

Many New Year's resolutions, made in complete sincerity, go by the wayside soon after the turn of the year. Why? More importantly, how can you keep your writing goals and career plan from doing likewise?

Make Attainable Goals

We've already discussed setting attainable goals. In short, make sure your expectations are realistic when measured against your limitations. Remember to balance your writing goals against the other goal areas of your life. Assign them no more or less of your attention than you should.

An attainable goal lies within your power to accomplish and does not hinge on anyone else's permission.

An attainable goal is measurable in terms of waymarks and time.

An attainable goal breaks down, when necessary, into achievable steps.

Refer to Your Goals

The adage: out of sight, out of mind rings especially true for goals, which require active participation to bring about change. Some enjoy change, but for others change is harder to accept. After all, change is about losses and gains, with the losses usually coming first. No wonder human nature often prompts us to hesitate where change is concerned. Count the cost when you establish your goals, and then focus on the gains to come. That will help you past the losses. Perhaps you will have less personal time, for instance, but you will finally get that manuscript finished.

Whatever method you use to keep track of your goals, keep yourself on course by referring to them on a regular basis and drawing your daily activities from your goals.

Set Aside Times for Reflection

I make an annual date with myself to reflect upon, monitor, and reevaluate my goals. You can't set your goals on autopilot, nor can you fence yourself into a rigid structure with no flexibility. It's not possible to know, in advance, all the twists and turns of life or how they will impact your goals. You will change as you grow and your desires may evolve in a different direction than you thought they would. That fact can bring joy, if approached with a positive mindset. Ongoing change breathes new life into your writing. Allowing for the shifts of life will make you less frustrated when they happen.

Pray for Direction

Stable goals rest their feet upon the Rock. Seeking God's direction heightens the chances you'll set your feet on the best path. Sometimes that path can seem intimidating, or at the least, challenging. Bear in mind that God won't abandon you there.

Homework

Decide where and when you will spend time this year in prayer and reflection in order to review, refresh and revise your goals. I suggest you schedule a retreat away from the distractions of life, perhaps in the company of one or two others doing the same, perhaps alone, for these purposes.

With this post, we've completed the groundwork needed to build a platform. Next week we'll move to the next level, where we will take a look at the nuts and bolts of platform building.

What if....

What if. . .
We discovered that Christmas really was more than holiday parties, calculated gifts and compulsory visits to relatives we otherwise would not speak to?
Would we truly experience Christmas?

What if. . .
We really got it; that Christmas is about the birth of a Savior?
Would we realize our need for Him?

What if. . .
We stopped trying to live perfect lives, pretending we had it all together?
Would we become real?

What if. . .
We made our own pilgrimages into the soul, laying bare our sins and shortcomings before a loving God?
Would we discover grace and peace?

What if. . .
We forgave ourselves
Would we be more forgiving?

What if. . .
We were willing to share our talents, abilities and skills, our tattered love and lives, vulnerabilities and incompleteness with those around us.
Would others discover Christmas?

May the God who was willing to allow His son to come to this earth as a vulnerable baby, transform your life as He continues to transform the world; and in that transformation, may each of us truly experience Christmas for the first time.

Marlene Anderseon, MA, LMHC, NCC

www.MarleneAnderson-Focus.com

www.focuswithmarlene.blogspot.com

Platform Building 109: Putting it all Together

If you've been following along each week (follow the links to catch up), you'll have identified your motives for writing, defined your purposes in life and drawn from them your writing goals. You've gone on to refine those goals and assign them priority and balance, and put them together to make a career plan. What's left? Putting together all the pieces to make one coherent picture.

It's a great thing to know what you should do in life. It's wonderful to have a glimmer (or several) about how that will look. It's another to actually get going on your goals. Right now you might feel like someone who has just opened a new puzzle. If you like puzzles, you'll feel exhilerated to have a new challenge. If you don't like puzzles, you'll just feel frustrated. Don't despair. Take a deep breath and lets make some order out of what might seem a tumbled mess of pieces.

Everyone does puzzles differently. Some outline first. Some don't. Some sort by color. Some organize by shape. Not only that, but one puzzle can be quite different from another. I draw these comparison to let you see I can give you suggestions but I can't organize your life for you. However, I can give you some things to think about, and I can cheer you as you find your way.

Thoughts to Ponder as You Establish a Schedule

• Never let anything become more important to you than your relationship with God.
  
• Remember to invest in and prioritize your relationships.
• You will want to look at your entire life in balance, not just at your writing career, when you apportion your time. 
• Don't let your expectations overwhelm your available time. Instead, revise your expectations to fit your available time or change your life to make more room for writing while keeping healthy priorities.
• You will want to plan learning curve time for yourself when attempting new things.
• Be productive but not driven. 
• Don't let your desire to obtain your goals make you self-focused and insensitive to others.
• Remember to schedule rewards to make life more fun and to help motivate you.

Homework

You can either work out your own system or follow mine:

• Purchase a 2010 calendar to mark up. 
• On a piece of paper, take the goals for 2010 you've already developed (if you don't have these, go back and follow the links in the first paragraph of this post) and break them down into smaller pieces by month. What do you need to do each month to accomplish each goal?
• Now, take those monthly goals and break them down by week. It's all right if you don't know everything at first. You'll sketch things in as you go.
  
• Now, take those weekly goals and break them into daily chunks. Schedule the first week only. Don't work too far ahead. That way you can adjust if you get a little behind or things work out differently than you planned. Just go a week at a time but keep pace with your larger framework.
• In time you may see a need to adjust your monthly (or even yearly) goals. Without bashing yourself, just go ahead and make the changes.
  

Next week we'll talk about scheduling retreat times for yourself.

So, do you have an interesting method for organizing your goals? I'd love to hear it!

Reason to Write

I began to write as a journey to make extra income. At least, this round of writing began that way. My real journey into writing began when I was closer to nine. I have always loved the written word. I enjoyed reading it and I enjoyed writing it – in the form of poems, journals, short stories and letters.

Then I grew up. Writing takes time, and it felt like I had less and less time to give. Money had to be made, but as a home school mom with small boys living in a rural community, there were not many options. So I made time to write.

The more that I wrote then the more I wanted to write. My passion for the written word had never left but now the smoldering ember was turning into a roaring flame. I began to make time to write.

Right now our financial times are tougher than ever and the only income that we have at this moment is through the writing. But now my passion over-rides the finances. I write because I have to write – I need to write – and not because the money is essential.

The more passion pushes my writing then the more opportunities open. I have discovered that if I give of my heart, with sincerity and without expectation, then the blessings find their way home.

Why do you write?

There is not one right answer and there are no wrong answers. The need to put words down is driven by different forces at different times in life. But understanding your own reasons will make it easier for you to guide your writing down the path that you desire to go.

Answer some of these questions:

Does the paycheck matter? Everyone that I know of wants to get paid, but is the paycheck the priority right now? Is sacrifice an option? Are you willing to give up something else to be able to write? Where are your skills? Have you built your writing skills to a place where they can do what you want them to do? What do you see for your writing one year down the road? Five years? Are you writing to write or writing to get somewhere?

Every journey is unique and personal and right for that one individual. Clarifying the journey will help you determine what step to take next. Discover your reasons for writing and you will begin to open doors that you never realized existed.

Home

My son, Don Anderson

Words don't come. I am still numb - devoid of feelings. I sit and soak in the ambiance of my home: comforting, muted shades and open spaces touched with splashes of color. The sound of the heater offsets the cold, bleak landscape outside my window.

Home. I have come home from a nightmare of critical activity, on-going crisis and death. This place of solace and comfort wraps itself around my aching heart and body like a sweater stretched and shaped with well-worn threads of softness. My thirsty soul drinks in the peace that God has placed here for me. I wrap my prayer shawl around my shoulders and know my God has been with me as I walked through that Valley of Death one more time.

My son died Friday, November 27th, the day after Thanksgiving. He was 44. We are left with his indomitable spirit and creative art that spills out of every corner of life where he walked and worked. Friends - no extended family - try to wrap their minds around what has happened, as we do, within such a short span of time. It was only the end of October that the diagnosis was given. We are still urgently trying to process the words: pancreatic cancer - Stage IV - very aggressive - an invading group of killer cells determined to accomplish their mission. They killed his body, but could not destroy his spirit, his will and determination to fight to the end.

And we are left with memories: me, of a son who was such a joy to raise; they, of a colleague who shared his love and friendship as well as his incredible talent and life.

Goodbye my son, until we meet again in God's home. And as I pick up the pieces of my life - yet one more time - I hear God whispering: Write.

Marlene Anderson, Dec. 2009

Don Anderson was a storyboard artist, concept illustrator, character design and sketch artist, author and producer who worked in many different mediums of film, TV and entertainment media in Santa Monica and Los Angeles, CA. To see more of Don's work visit his website: http://www.thedonandersonstudio.com/.

Platform Building 108: Plan Rewards (or Frost Your Cake!)

What's a cake without that extra touch of sweetness frosting provides? After all, frosting can turn a simple cake into a delicacy.

In the same way, giving yourself rewards makes all your hard work seem worthwhile. Rewarding yourself for achieving a goal can even motivate you to accomplish it in the first place. But, use caution and discipline. Remember, frosting should be eaten in moderation. Too much of a good thing just makes you sick. A good rule of thumb is to balance the amount of frosting against the amount of cake. A bigger bite of cake needs a little more frosting than a smaller one does. First decide when you will reward yourself, and then decide how. Here's a list of ways to build rewards into your schedule.

• Play a few of those online games you've been avoiding.
• Allow yourself some forum time.
• Go for a walk or hike.
• Take an overnight trip and enjoy a meditative retreat.
• Eat chocolate.
• Indulge in a phone call to a friend or family member.
• Give yourself the day off.
• Read a book.
• Listen to music, either at home or by attending a concert of some kind.
• Visit the ocean in winter.
• Whale watch.
• Give a back rub to someone you love and receive one in return.
• Go to a writers conference.
• Watch a movie.
• Watch a favorite television show.
• Take up drawing, painting or other forms of artistic expression.
• Buy yourself a new outfit.
• Go to the gym.
• Go to a spa.
• Rearrange your office.
• Make cookies.
• Spend all afternoon playing with your child(ren).
• Take your spouse on a date.
• Write in a journal.
• Visit a friend or family member.

Homework

Take a look at your goals and decide when you will reward yourself. Then, brainstorm some rewards. I suggest writing them down if you think you'll forget to do them.

Do you have your goals set but you still aren't sure how to apply them to your everyday life? If so, next week's post is for you. We'll discuss how to distill it all down to give you traction every day.

Meanwhile, do you have suggestions for rewards I didn't mention?

Free Your Writing Dreams

My friend published his first book last week. He only wrote the book after I encouraged him to write it, as I mentioned in my blog post last week. What I did not tell you is that I have been writing my own book for 23 years - yes, years. In all that time, I've dreamed of writing my book but not actually written it. I've talked about writing my book too. My friend wrote his book. This made it possible for him to enter a contest which he won. Now he is selling his first published novel.

There are a hundred great excuses I could give for not writing my book - everything from marriage and careers to children and sick family. If you're like me, you can always find an excuse to prevent yourself from writing. Excuses are just procrastination in disguise. Procrastination seeps into whatever you are doing and bogs down the works. It keeps you from moving forward and eventually pulls you down so much your dream starts to die. Without the light of hope a dream will die.

Dreaming will only get me so far. It is easy to talk the talk, but I need to walk the walk as well. I have to push past just dreaming and make something happen. Right now my dream still exists. Does yours? Your dream may only glimmer in the back of your mind rather than burn with passion in your heart. Never mind. If it burns at all it is still alive. Fan the flame of hope and put that dream back on track to becoming reality.

Steps to Revive Your Dream

1. Write it down. No matter what the dream is or was for your future it is time to make it tangible. Write it out in the form of a contract. Now sign the contract and ask someone that you trust to witness and sign with you. Admitting your dream, in writing, is the first step toward fulfilling that dream.
2. Make an action plan. Set up at least three things that you will do in the next week to begin moving towards your dream. Make at least one action step for this moment. That means that starting RIGHT NOW you are going to begin the process of fulfilling your dream.
3. Start a journal. Include your dream in the front of the journal. Include your action plans in the journal. Most importantly, include the excitement that you are feeling as you begin the process of walking toward the dream that you have held onto all this time. All of these entries will give you the strength that you need to carry on when procrastination begins to crowd your dream once again.

The first step is often the toughest. A dream held in protective custody for years may shrink from stepping into the light, even the light of hope. Nurture that dream with action. Just one step at a time is all it takes to keep procrastination from killing your dreams. Each step you do take will lead you a little closer to bringing that dream into a reality.

Platform Building 107: Develop Your Career Plan

Just about everyone who bakes has ruined a cake. Stories abound of disasters caused by too much baking powder, not enough sugar, too much flour, and the like. Or perhaps a cake failed to rise because its batter wasn't beaten long enough or the butter hadn't warmed to room temperature before being added. Cakes fail for a lot of reasons, most of them preventable, and so can goals and dreams. That said, most of us will want to use a tried and true recipe that insures the ingredients and processes perform well together. We each must choose for ourselves whether to adhere to a recipe or improvise. Sometimes improvising creates a cake of great originality, but at a greater risk of failure. I have noticed, being an improvising cook myself, that I still follow a basic (and unwritten) mental recipe. In the same way, in setting a writing career, you can either follow a proscribed path or you can chart your own adventure. The choice is yours. The risks are also yours.

First, you should decide what type of cake to bake. A chocolate cake calls for different ingredients than, say, a vanilla cake. One has chocolate in the batter and one does not. One uses more vanilla than the other. The choice is up to you. Of course, the "cake" here refers to your writing goals. A few warnings are appropriate at this point: This is not about making the "correct" cake, just about choosing the flavor that will best fulfill your purposes. Also, no one else can choose its flavor for you. The choice is yours alone.

Have you noticed how many (wonderful) recipes exist for chocolate cake? And, even when we follow a set recipe, your cake will turn out differently from mine. Maybe you'll interpret a cup of flour as rounded, whereas I'll make mine level, or perhaps you'll pour in a little extra vanilla, add extra chocolate, or even have different sized eggs. Like snowflakes, no two cakes are ever exactly the same. (Have you ever wondered how they know that about snowflakes? But I digress.) That's because we're all individuals. The same is true for our writing goals, and for our writing itself. What do you plan to write? Where are you headed in your writing career?  The answers to these questions will direct you to the specific recipe you'll choose to meet your goals.

The recipe in this analogy represents the balanced plan by which you will develop your writing goals into a platform and a career. Every recipe contains a list of ingredients in specified amounts (two large eggs, a teaspoon of vanilla, etc.),  instructions, size of pan to use, an expected yield, an oven temperature and a cooking time. Following a career plan is no different.

We'll go into detail in future weeks, but for now, it's enough to say that your plan should include the following:

• The type of writing you will do (and how much time you can commit to writing).
• What you will do to establish a readership for your writing (and how much time you will allow it to occupy.)
  
• What you will do to market and promote your writing (and how much time you will give these tasks.)
• How you intend to proceed, laid out step-by-step over the number of years it will take to meet your goals. Have a plan, but also allow for flexibility and spontaneity. Let the Lord guide you in drawing up your plan in the first place and you'll have more hope of attaining it.
  
• The scope of your expected reach. Do you plan to play on the national, and even the international stage? Do you want your books made into movies? Do you see yourself topping the bestseller charts? Or are you content self-publishing and selling to a smaller crowd?
• What degree of intensity will you employ to "bake" your "cake?" (formula: amount of work + time allotted to it = degree of intensity).
• How long do you estimate it will take to meet each of your goals?

 Homework

 Create a master plan for your writing career and platform development, using the goals you've already brainstormed and refined. Next week we'll talk a little about frosting. :o)

What are your writing goals? What specific path will you take to achieve them? How long do you think it will take you?

Encouragement Fuels a Writer's Spirit

Encouragement lies at the heart of every success story. It creates the needed lift to carry you over a hump or even a mountain. Getting encouragement can be like taking off in an airplane – you feel a bit excited, light as air and often unstoppable.

One year ago I took some time to encourage a friend of mine who was talking about a novel he wanted to write. He had been writing this same story in his mind and sometimes on paper for many years. It was my encouragement that pushed him to complete the novel.

Today he visited and brought along a copy of his recently published book. He acknowledges that my encouragement helped get him to where he is right now. That acknowledgement gave me the inspiration I needed to write this article and also the determination to get it done.

Encouragement gives birth to encouragement. Reaching out and lifting up others makes me feel better. But it also has a way of coming back around to me and becoming encouragement for me as well.

Tips to Encourage Other Writers

1. Visit and comment on other blogs. Make it all about them and their content! If you are going to link to your own website then only do so in the log in portion of the comments and never in the actual comment.

2. Become a part of an online community. Forums are great ways to give (and receive) encouragement. Actively participate in discussions and even start a few of your own. 3. A little tweet can go a long ways. Post things that are good, positive and uplifting and you are likely to get a few retweets in return. 4. Skip the complaining. There are going to be websites, employers or businesses that do you wrong. Use your power for good instead of putting them down. It is okay to say things did not go the way you wanted, but avoid the whining and nagging. 5. Share the link love. Linking to other websites, particularly with a comment about what you like about that site, can be the ultimate form of encouragement. 6. Look locally for someone to mentor. There is always someone out there that you can teach what you know. Along the way you may end up learning even more about writing and about yourself.

Encouragement can be one of the greatest tools in the toolbox of a writer. Developing the gift of encouraging others might well mean you'll become airborne on wings of encouragement too.